Thursday, October 20, 2005

Hard to ignore

Whoa, more than 3 months after the last entry. For the first month or so,
I was out of town on business trips for extended periods, and although
I was able to get online and check my mail and whatnot, it wasn't an ideal
situation for blogging. Well, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

The last 2 months, yes, I was busy, again often away on business trips,
but I admit I had plenty of time to come here and post entries if I wanted.
But, I hesitated. Or rather, something made me hesitate to come here.

Why did I hesitate? It sort of reminded me of my college days, when I held
the title of Queen of Procrastinators, trying to ignore the stack of research
and note papers on the corner of the room, waiting till the very last minute
to dash off that assignment.

No, it's more like trying to lose weight, telling myself that I'll walk so many
miles every morning or that I'll stop eating junk, setting goals impossible to
achieve so that I won't feel bad when I fail. (Wow, I have a feeling I just
unwillingly or unconsiously confessed some mundane psychological crap
that turns many blogs into cyber landfill garbage.)

Anyway, this space I'd created for myself had become a burden to me
somehow, and that's why I'd stayed away. I'll try to sort this out by more
blog entries, contributing to the pollution of the cyber environment by
broadcasting my boring-as-hell psychological diarrhea.