Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Hot and bothered ... in a way

I've had a very frustrating day at work, and had to wonder where the
source of all this frustration was coming from. I was on the phone
with a client of mine, discussing the most minutest details of a tour
booklet we were preparing for them. The client (let's call her
Ms Nit-Picky) was demanding that I go to her office to go over all the
petty details of the tour booklet that needed to be changed, along with
complaining how the document did not come out right when she tried to
print because it was created in a size that did not correspond to the
setting on their computer, and that I should bring 2 hard-copies of the
booklet for herself and her associate to go over during the meeting etc., etc..

Ordinarily, I consider myself a pretty easy-going person, and it takes
a lot to provoke me to blow up at someone. I always give the other
person the benefit of the doubt, and I have to be maltreated at least
3 times for me to finally say, ok, enough, I won't put up with it any
longer. And I'm talking here about personal relationships, not work-
related professional ones. And this was a client! Someone who pays
us for what we do!

But there I was, at 3 in the afternoon, sitting in my home office space
sweltering in the heat, cradling the cordless phone against my left
ear, practically biting the head off of Ms N.P. I just don't know what
came over me.

Maybe it was the heat. The high today easily went up above 90 degrees,
I didn't have the air-conditioner on, mainly to keep my utility bills down,
but also to do a small part in saving the environment, so the physical
working condition was quite inhumane, albiet self-inflicted. People tend
to snap easily when it's hot out. But that can't be all.

Or maybe it was PMS. I hate it when someone else ascribes my short temper
to PMS, but I know when I'm being short fused, and it wasn't one of them.
Besides, I'm nowhere near my schedule.

Could it be that I just don't get along with her? Is she one of those people
who, without meaning to, rubs me the wrong way? Possibly. I've known her
for a number of years, but this is the first time I really had to come in close
working contact with her, and I found out a lot of this about her that I was
unaware of until now. Like, she's nit-picky. That she can be hysterical and
get quite worked up over something (that I consider) not that important.
That she needlessly repeats herself (I actually told her I heard her say the
same thing 3 times already -- probably a bad move).

Whatever the reasons, I need to get over being frustrated with her, because
I have to go see her tomorrow after all. Have to put on my best retail smile.
Be nice to her. Try to repair the damage I caused on the phone today, if I'd
caused any damage at all.

I'll finish eating this bar of chocolate, run a warm bath with some soothing
bubbles, and try to think of ways to not let her get to me. Otherwise, I'll
have to spend all the rest of my monthly allowance I'd budgeted for
groceries on chocolate bars!

About the title

What is it about rainy days that makes it so perfect to reflect on things?

I'm talking about the kind of day that's a bit cool, dense heavy clouds
covering the sky. Not heavy-duty hurricane-calibur raindrops, but a
steady stream of raindrops that actually feels like soft caresses when it
hits you.
On such a day, you either want to curl up in your bed with a good book,
or, instead of reading words put down by others, write down your own
words in a journal.

Perhaps, because of the overcast, there's less distractions in the world
around. You see less of the world because of the hazy screen of rain,
but it still allows you to see things, just not clearly enough, so that
your mind starts to wander and make associations. Sounds, smell, sight
all become reminiscent of something that happened or not happened.

You can either let it all float by, or, you can try ot capture some of the
little nuggets of ideas in the stream by writing them down. I used to do
a lot of that(writing, that is), even when it wasn't raining, but somehow
lost the habit in the transition from one phase of life to another. I've been
letting such days go by without a thought for so long that, in some ways,
I'm afraid I've become a shallow, materialistic person I used to despise.

So this blog is not only a practice in writing, but also a practice in self-
reflection. Kind of like a zen meditation.

So there is a first time for everything

So here I am, officially becoming a member of the blogging community.

This will be a space for me to practice my writing. In English, not that I
do a whole lot of writing in any language. I seem to remember wanting
to be a writer, until not long ago, but didn't think I had anything worthy
to say, at least not good enough to print. Blogging seems to be a less
material resource-consuming way of publishing the words I choose, thus
making me feel less guilty for doing so.

Here goes nothing!